This has been a crazy year for me. A lot of personal things happened in the beginning of the year. It was pretty hard to get through. Ap art allowed me to express how i was feeling through my art work. My artwork shows the changes i experienced with myself throughout the year. It also shows how everything has effected me in different ways. Ap allowed me to grow and test my skills with a variety of different art styles. It also allowed me to figure out who i am and who i want to be. It showed me that even though everything around me may suck at the moment it gets better with time. My concentration was the main focus of what i was experiencing throughout the year. It shows everything i was battling by myself in my own ways. It also helped me develop my new art style that I have today. Life may suck at times but never give up.
When you look at someone can you see all they have been through? Is their act pretty well put together? Can you see past their fake smiles and see how deeply they are hurting inside? I’ve always had to put up a front with others to save myself from more hurt, from dealing with how others react to my appearance, seemingly never ending depression and anxiety, to putting others problems onto myself. This broke me down and built me back up, always trying to please the world but not myself.
You can change for the better or worse, depending on how you react to it. i always keep things in & hiding my true feelings, wearing different masks every day just to get by to the next day. Simple anxiety can be very crippling, making simple everyday things seem almost impossible. Like having someone behind you saying “you aren’t good enough” or “Their just lying again”. There’s a little monster inside my head feeding me lies. Making me believe things that aren’t true, making me over think everything & everyone.
Depression, never ending pit of sadness & anger. Fills you up inside until you can’t take it anymore. Having random break downs. Taking it out on the people you love the most without really seeing it yourself. Makes you do things that you normally wouldn’t but you. Sometimes it comes without reason & stays like a leach slowly sucking you dry.
Being a wolf in a world of sheep isn’t easy. Always trying to fit in when you really don’t fit in at all. Trying to please others while destroying yourself. Becoming the complete opposite of yourself. I always tend to put others problems onto myself to make it easy for them. I’m to loving & caring, they just take advantage. Taking everything I have to give but giving nothing in return. It’s a never ending cycle but the world is already bad enough so I try to put good into it.
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